Rosea Puella
by seasaltmemories
Summary: Red dictated Kougyoku's life, both this life and her past life


**Cover was created by mnieva on devientart**

* * *

><p>Red, red, it was if the entire earth had been bathed in that color. Kougyoku tried to scream, but she couldn't force the words out of her mouth.<p>

"Stop!" She wanted to yell as she saw her family, her friends, fall to the ground. "Stop fighting, please!" Despite her silent prayers, the battle raged on, thunder and lightning highlighting her loved ones' wounded forms.

Kougyoku cried, but instead of familiar cool tears, warm blood painted her face. "This is it," Dimly she thought. "I'm going to die like this. Watching everyone I care about perish because I was too weak." Fury filled her veins and she gathered all her strength to hold her djinn equip.

With a feral cry, she flew into the slaughter, trying to do something, anything to help. However just as she raised her sword, a gust of magic hit her head on.

All her resolve was lost as she was knocked out of the sky. As she reverted back to her colorful robes, her vision started to fade further and further away.

"I'm sorry," She creaked out. "Please forgive-" But the rest of her sentence was lost as her world was swallowed up by the relentless darkness.

* * *

><p>For what felt like an eternity, Kougyoku stayed trapped in the darkness. It was a strange experience, she had been injured before, but never had it resulted in the almost out-of-body experience she was having. Kougyoku wondered if she was dying. That would explain why she felt so calm despite her last memories.<p>

Before she could pursue that thought any further though, blinding light surrounded her, and slowly her vision came back to her.

"Your Highness!" Slowly Kougyoku craned her head up to see Ka Koubun sighing in relief. "Thank goodness Vinea was able to bring you back." She saw he was holding his metal vessel in his left hand as he wiped the sweat off his brow.

Kougyoku strained to sit up but her whole body screamed in protest. "What happened after…" Red blood, red hair, screaming, crying.

Ka Koubun pursed his lips at the question. "Forgive me my princess, I should have warned you. However I didn't want to raise an unnecessary alarm. For weeks now, I've realized a big battle was coming. So I've been preparing some supplies and provisions in case you were wounded." He gestured to three simple bags, almost filled to the point of bursting.

"You didn't answer my question." Kougyoku groaned.

"Oh," He blinked twice, as if trying to remember something. "I was watching from afar, when I saw your figure fall from the sky. No one seemed to notice, they would have left you to die if I hadn't gotten you out of there."

"Where are we, then?" Kougyoku gazed up at the tall trees circling them, she knew Kou held thousands of woodlands, but she herself had never ventured far into the green labyrinths. These forests only held bandits and tiny villages that no one knew of. At least that's what Kouen had always said as he lectured on about various parts of the world.

"Milu Forest. Near where my home is." He spoke matter-of-factly, devoid of all emotions.

"Oh." It was her turn to blink as she tried to remember what else to ask. "And what about my brothers?" She worried for all of them, even Hakuryuu, despite his rebellion against them.

"I cannot lie your Highness, but the casualties were great. Red was everywhere, I couldn't tell which corpse were which." Kougyoku wanted to scream. She wanted to kick and cry, but strangely all she could do was let out a few choked sobs.

"What have I done?" She looked up at the sky, as if Ka Koubun wasn't even there. "I left my brothers to die while I hid like a coward."

"Princess, don't talk like that!" He leaned forward and grabbed her hand. "I said I wasn't sure, and it's foolish to believe all have perished, I'm sure you'll be welcomed back with open arms."

"Why should I even go back?" In a burst of strength she sat up to face Ka Koubun. "Name one reason." It must have seen sudden for him, but for years, Kougyoku had agonized over this. She was so, so broken and alone and confused and just so tired, it was too hard being a princess. Kougyoku could have never done something so selfish as to abandon her family though. But now she had practically killed her brothers herself! It was the straw to break the camel's back as Alibaba had once said. She couldn't play this part anymore, a whore's daughter could never wear a crown, no matter how many jewels adorned her body.

"What do you suggest then?" Startled she looked back at Ka Koubun. What did she want? In the past she had wanted to be strong, to be acknowledged but things were so different now. She couldn't go back to those goals, red would haunt her every move.

"I just want to not feel dead inside," Kougyoku answered in a small voice. "I don't want to be a failure of a princess anymore."

Silence hung over the two, and Kougyoku trembled despite the hot summer air. Maybe it was from fear or sadness, she didn't know.

"Very well." Nimble hands threaded through her hair and removed her hairpin. "Ren Kougyoku is dead, my lovely butterfly is free now."

* * *

><p>For the next few days, the duo rested in Milu Forest. Kougyoku was still very much tired, not just physically but mentally. They talked and planned of what to do with their new lives now, though there wasn't much to discuss.<p>

"You can go back home if you wish to." Pink eyes met brown. "I'm no longer royalty, and you're no longer my servant." Instead of getting a straight answer though, Ka Koubun simply started humming a strange tune.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He replied. "Just remembering." The tune became almost wistful.

"What's the song?" Kougyoku felt like she was stepping into dangerous territory,but the curiosity was too great.

"A balled my lover sang. He was a traveling musician and sang it every day, even the day he died." Immediately, she understood what he was saying. And the implications sent shivers up her spine.

"The only home I have is with you now, do you understand?" There was a slight edge in his words. And Kougyoku simply nodded. She knew if he went back home, he'd probably join his lover.

After that, conversation turned to back to mundrum details; where to go, how to hide her heritage, whether to adopt new names or not, stuff like that.

"I don't care where we settle, as long as it's far away, where we won't be found." Kougyoku ran a hand through her hair, she had decided a peasant wouldn't wear a hairpin like her's. "Also can you just call me Gyoku? That way it won't be difficult remembering something else."

Ka Koubun only nodded at her ramblings, occasion asking another question. It was strange but for the first time in a long time, Kougyoku felt at peace. Maybe it was her body slowly healing or the fact a great responsibility had been lifted off her shoulders. Whatever the reason, she felt like she could almost smile.

_Stupid whore's daughter, you think you can escape your blood by running away? The only way to do is that is to have it spilled among your brothers'. _

Almost smile. Kougyoku was naive but she was not a fool. She knew her crimes would still remain, that she would still be worthless and useless.

But at least she wouldn't have to see the disappointment in her loved ones' eyes. She'd be free to break in solitude.

"Ready, Gyoku?" Ka Koubun held up a plain dress as he tried out the new nickname.

She was ready alright. Ready to kill the girl that caused her so much loneliness.

* * *

><p>So they traveled, further and further into the woodlands of Kou. Neither of them were skilled with navigating, but their food supplies were plentiful, they could wander around for a while.<p>

The only bad thing was Kougyoku's aching feet. She was no stranger to pain, but she had never walked so much in her entire life. Still she'd wear them raw if she could escape the royal life.

However a couple days later, they realized that the constant wandering couldn't last forever.

"Prin- i mean Gyoku?" The name still rolled clumsily off his tongue. "Look here." He pointed to the half empty bags of food. "I mean no disrespect but we must settle in the next village we arrive at. If we continue to just pass through them as before, our supplies will get dangerously low."

"Can't we ration them for a bit longer?" But just them an audible groan escaped Kougyoku's stomach. It seemed her body couldn't play pretend like she could. For a whore's daughter, she was an awfully spoiled one.

"I'm not sure if that'd be the best option." A ghost of a smile coasted over Ka Koubun's face as he reached to ruffle her red hair. "I know it's hard, but please, I want you to have a happy life and to do that we need security."

Kougyoku sighed, she knew he was right. But this eternal existence was almost pleasant. No hateful stares or two-faced words. They simply floated through the land, as if spirits of the dead.

"Alright."

And as if it was planned, they arrived at a town three day laters.

"Xiaoshi," Ka Koubun read from a sign. "How does that sound?"

"Doesn't matter." Kougyoku replied. "These villages are all the same." So they checked into an undescriptive inn and spent the night there. In that small dirty room time didn't seem to exist. Kougyoku would laze around while Ka Koubun searched for a place they could call home.

She couldn't tell you how many days they stayed in that inn. Sometimes it felt like Ka Koubun would leave one second and come back then next. On and on, again and again, a neverending cycle. Kougyoku would have to close her eyes or risk getting sick at the frightening speeds.

But then things would slow to a halt. In 1 hour, eternities would pass as Kougyoku sat and stared and thought to herself.

Of course these moments were when the haunting voices were strongest, but they always plagued her.

_Stupid whore, waste of space, useless princess._

All these were true, so Kougyoku didn't even try to argue with them anymore. She simply accepted the insults as she waited for her body to waste away.

"You haven't left the room in forever" His voice would always hold so much concern in the darkness of night, when he could conceal his true intentions, whatever they were. "Are you certain you don't want to join me tomorrow?"

"I'm fine." She parroted those lines. I'm fine, I'm fine, I said I'm fine, please just leave me alone and pretend you don't see the cracks. And so the cycle continued and continued. Kougyoku felt like she lived several lives in that small room as the weight and implications of her actions hung heavy on her shoulders.

But then the cycle was broken as Ka Koubun burst in the door and yelled,

"Wake up Gyoku! We're going home."

* * *

><p>It's a small thing, a pile of wood compared to the palace she had lived in. But then it seemed like eons since she had seen her home in the first place.<p>

"It has six rooms and a small field that we can use to grow vegetables. Then we can sell the extra ones and make some money back. How does that sound, Gyoku?"

Kougyoku only gave a stiff nod. "Good." All Ka Koubun's words might as well have been gibberish. She was _so so _tired, how did he not see it?

Ignoring his rambling, she walked in the house, footsteps heavy and drawn out. In a fuzzy haze, she found a small room with blankets scattered across the floor.

Mechanically she laid down and shut her eyes, trying to block out the rest of the world.

"Princess?" The forbidden title stirred her to crack an eye and look up at Ka Koubun.

"I told you I'm not a princess." She sighed. "I'm just a tired girl who needs sleep." And once again, she closed her eyes, hoping to forget the world.

Once again, Kougyoku fell into the cycle that had plagued her at the inn. A strange fatigue hung on her soul, one that the hours upon hours failed to cure. She didn't even pretend she was ok for Ka Koubun. Instead she stayed trapped in her rooms as ghosts haunted her every move.

_Stupid whore. Useless. Pathetic. Every inch of you is disgusting, go kill yourself._

Kougyoku wanted to scream in reply to the voices. "_Don't you think I know that! I've known that since I took my first breath. I wouldn't be here otherwise, so please, please, PLEASE GO AWAY!"_

But they wouldn't and she realized they probably couldn't. So her waking hours were spent either in the deafening silence or eating.

Ka Koubun had always been good about making her eat. Often she'd find a bowl of rice or some other nourishment next to her as she woke.

She'd eat it, despite the nonexistent taste. The voices said it'd be better if she was dead, but Kougyoku knew Ka Koubun would break just like her if she ever died.

And she couldn't bear to shatter someone so carelessly.

One time she woke up and found there was no snack next to her. Normally she'd simply go back to sleep, but a hunger she still had not gotten used to persisted.

Tentatively, she stood up and did something she had only done a few times. She left her room. In fact she did more than that. She continued to shuffled through the wooden house a peeked her red head outside. There she saw Ka Koubun, shirtless and sweating, working away.

Like a child, she gazed at him, only wondering now what he did while she was lost in her own mind. He did care about her, but Ka Koubun was rarely ever good with emotions. He knew how to patch a wound and how to wipe tears from someone's face, but his healing was only physical. He couldn't heal the mind or a soul like he could a broken bone.

"Gyoku?" She wanted to scurry back to her room, but it was as if her feet were glued to the floor. "Are you hungry?"

Kougyoku nodded repeatedly. Talking seemed to take up so much energy, she prefered to communicate verbally as little as possible.

"It's almost lunch time, might as well break early." He grabbed his shirt and left the small field. 'Come on I'll make you something, he ruffled the tangled red mess that looked more like a rat's nest than a princess' hair.

She followed him as he gathered various ingredients, eyes wide and soaking up every detail. Some tea was made,and soon Kougyoku found herself picking at an assortment of cabbage, carrots and celery.

"The neighbors have been saying things." Ka Koubun sighed as he took a sip of tea. "There are various stories: we're outlaws, soldiers that deserted, nobles with a forbidden love, that's a popular."

"People always talk." Her words were clipped and short as she slowly lifted a fork to her mouth. It didn't surprise her at all. Her entire childhood was shaped by clandestine secrets and accusing whispers.

"True." He nodded in reply. Once again silence filled the air. Neither wanting nor willing to talk about the darkness lingering in the air, suffocating, stifling.

"The people here don't even seem to notice a rebellion has took place. When I mentioned the Witch-Queen ruling they acted surprise." Ka Koubun laughed, but it was forced and fake.

Kougyoku just stared blankly again. Did he think he was relying new information or something? That was why they chose this town she didn't even know the name of. No one would know of her sin. And best of all she wouldn't have to facts that her brothers were dead because of her. She could live this idyllic, dreamlike life of self-hate and loathing.

"I'm taking a nap." She pushed away her food, wishing to get rid of it's vile taste.

As she fell asleep, it occurred to her how she hated vegetables. Yet since her stay here she had been eating them indiscriminately. It was only today she had realized she hated them.

Kougyoku wanted to laugh. She could still feel something.

Instead only sobs followed.

* * *

><p>The next day, or at least what she thought was the next day, rough hands shook her awake, breaking the only peace she ever got.<p>

"Gyoku, time to wake up." Ka Koubun's voice was firm but she only hissed at the sunlight filtering through.

"Come on, you're going to work." He struggled to pull her to her feet, but Kougyoku scratched and clawed, almost taking his eye out.

"Gyoku, Gyoku, Gyoku! PRINCESS!" Ka Koubun shook her fragile frame. "Get a hold of yourself, you are not some filthy animal! You are royalty!"

"No I'm not!" She screeched, eyes wild and teeth bared. "I'm a worthless whore's daughter who couldn't save her family! Leave me alone!"

Punches flew, kicking, screaming. Kougyoku had grown frail after denouncing her title, but still she was the more skilled fighter of the two.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She roared as she pinned Ka Koubun to the wall. She could smell the copper ting of blood spilt. Red red blood that haunted her dreams and slowly poisoned her mind. Under her, brown eyes were filled with fear, one that almost transcended fear of physical harm. It was filled with fear of losing one's soul when facing a monster of legends.

Pink eyes were animalistic in their ferocity. Ka Koubun was sure he'd be devoured when at a drop of a hat, the eyes turned melancholy again.

"What have I become?" Tears started pouring as Kougyoku fell to her knees.

"Princess…" Ka Koubun didn't know what to do, afraid of having to face that monster again. "Please, didn't you want to be happy? You won't find that in this room."

"I'll never find it. I don't deserve it."

"Then at least try to pretend you can." he bent down to get on her level. "My mother used to say when you are sad, work. When you feel like taking a life, work. When you feel like taking your own life, work. Work to take your mind off such trivial things as emotions."

Kougyoku looked at him through her bangs, now long and almost covering her eyes completely. It was eerie how similar her appearance was to when they had first met.

"Fine." She spat out the word like a curse. "Fine, fine, fine fine, fine." She stood up with a strange look in her eye.

"Let's play pretend then."

* * *

><p>And so they did. Every morning, Ka Koubun pulled her out of bed and feed her breakfast. Then they'd farm, something utterly foreign to her. Callouses soon developed on her pale hands, in places different from those from a sword.<p>

Kougyoku would try and fail and try again and fail once more. In her past life she'd cry but Kougyoku felt nothing. Instead she would listen to Ka Koubun's patient instructions.

After a few months, she became proficient enough. And so they'd carry water from the well and plow and request seeds from the main store and do anything to fit in. People now smiled at Kougyoku, though they were fake and forced. At first they called her Red, but when Kougyoku broke down at the word they moved to the nickname Yingzi: shadow.

And then they'd break for lunch, but soon they'd go back to work. And then they'd break for dinner and go to bed. Kougyoku knew he was trying to tired her so much, the voices wouldn't speak. it didn't work though, they never stopped.

_Stupid whore. Waste of space. Useless princess._

She knew the names backwards and forwards. If she wanted to she probably could sing a sick lullaby using them.

But she couldn't hurt Ka Koubun. After cracking worse than Kouha had ever, she knew her breaking must take place in silence.

So she became a doll. Sit there like a pretty little thing. When people say hello, you reply with a small wave. Wash, rinse, and repeat. When people asked if you were ok say,

"I"m fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine." Say it til it doesn't even sound like a word. They say the more you tell a lie, the more it starts to become true. Whoever they are.

Ka Koubun stopped bugging her after that. Whether he was too blind to see the truth, or too powerless to change anything it didn't matter. Each day they played this twisted game, rambling about nonsense such as peace and happiness.

But Kougyoku wasn't strong enough to keep up the charade. One night the dam broke and Kougyoku couldn't stop herself.

She ran out onto the porch, into the warm summer air, and yelled. She yelled and roared, trying to feel something, or maybe to stop feeling so much.

Only once her throat was sore did she stop. It surprised her half the village wasn't awake, but in the end it didn't matter.

"Will I ever escape my past?" She pleaded an invisible god, perhaps the one that was Aladdin's father.

"Looks like you won't, Gyoku." Kougyoku turned to the familiar voice in shock.

Red eyes overwhelmed her and she screamed.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. Here it is, what I hope shall be my magnus opus. I've mentioned that I could only see one possible way of Jukou being canon and while talking with my friend scaleeshi, RP popped out. However this is not a love story. This is the story of two very broken people trying to put their lives back together. Updates will be sporadic at best because this is a labor of love. Scaleeshi will tell you of the months I have dedicated to the first chapter alone.<strong>


End file.
